Uncaged Episode 1: The Caw-poser

Tune on in as Corvus and Ryann talk about Pride, LGBTQ+ Mental Health and Current LGBTQ+ News. Two Queens in the bird's nest, You won't want to miss it. 

CONTENT WARNING: 

• Brief talk about Depression and  self-harm. (This may not be suited for everyone) 
• Occasional Swearing on my part (My bad, I apologize. maybe like 5 cuss words max.)

Transcript

Speaker 2 0:00

Attention, all queens, kings, food enjoyers and travelers. If you are looking for a podcast that has some laughs with a snarky and stylish host, we cover anything here from politics to news, review of places, food, and hotels. I may make snarky diss tracks better people every now and again. So tune in. Watch as we take flight and go on the air. Good evening to all my queens, kings, food enjoyers, and travelers. Today I have a very special episode for all of you. This is Corvus Crotiques. However, today on our episode, we are not doing our usual critique. This is Corvus Uncaged, where you get to hear your snarky and stylish host talk about things that are his own opinion rather than something that is factual. We will be discussing facts, but it will be also with my opinion. So without further ado, let's take flight and go on the air. Tonight we have a very special guest joining us from the Netherlands. You know him, you love him, give him a great big drag queen welcome to Ryan Adrian.

Speaker 1 1:27

Are you going to do something uh something fun today?

Speaker 2 1:31

Yeah. Probably sleep.

Speaker 1 1:33

Um I have a snow day, so what does that mean? Is it just snow?

Speaker 2 1:40

Yeah.

Speaker 1 1:42

Wow. Is it cold?

Speaker 2 1:46

It is. Um winter is a bit around here. Uh when it snows, yeah. Um where I'm from, they got like 18 inches.

Speaker 1 2:04

Well, that's crazy.

Speaker 2 2:06

Yeah.

Speaker 1 2:07

That's a lot. We had like a little bit of snow, but like I shouldn't complain when you guys have 18 inches.

Speaker 2 2:14

Yeah, and have you seen like Russia? Russia got apparently like 32 uh feet or something like that.

Speaker 1 2:22

That's crazy. That's crazy. Yeah. And it's so that's so annoying when you want to go somewhere.

Speaker 2 2:28

Yeah, I feel that.

Speaker 1 2:33

But nice that you reached out for this. I really love that.

Speaker 2 2:37

Thank you for being here, darling.

Speaker 1 2:39

Of course, of course.

Speaker 2 2:41

So tell me a little bit about yourself before we uh get into Of course.

Speaker 1 2:45

Well, my name is Ryan. Um and I think I started making music uh when I was, I think, eight or nine, I started to play the trumpet, um, which I really loved. And I think like seven years ago, I started a little bit experimenting on the keyboard that was in our house. Um, and I started to write songs, and then I had a crazy period where I would produce and learn how to produce like 24-7 day and night, because I just love that. And now uh yeah, I just write songs, I produce them and I perform, and I have my own shows, and I perform here in the Netherlands, but also in other countries, and I'm meeting a lot of amazing people and artists. So at the moment it's really it's going it's going really well. I love it. Yeah.

Speaker 2 3:39

Have you ever performed in the US?

Speaker 1 3:41

No, not yet. But there's a lot of uh like a lot of people who follow me and a lot of listeners on Spotify, they come from the US. So one day we will go to the US.

Speaker 2 3:53

No, it's kind of unremarkable right now, to be honest.

Speaker 1 3:57

Oh, really? Should I stay in Europe?

Speaker 2 3:59

Maybe like for the next three years.

Speaker 1 4:03

Oh damn.

Speaker 2 4:07

I'm sure you've heard about our, you know, president.

Speaker 1 4:11

Yeah, yeah, of course, of course. Of course. So maybe for the next years we'll stay we'll stay in Europe.

Speaker 2 4:18

Although I'd love to see you, but you wouldn't know who I am.

Speaker 1 4:22

One day we will see each other for sure.

Speaker 2 4:25

That'd be awesome though.

Speaker 1 4:28

Yeah. And you, what about you?

Speaker 2 4:31

I'm uh I have a profession where I get to travel the world. Um Wow. Yeah. Um, I won't necessarily say what it is because I do try to keep it myself DL at least. Um it's just like one of those things that like if I say what I do, you know, then people at work are gonna be like, oh wait, you have a podcast, and then I'm like, ah fuck, they know where I live.

Speaker 1 5:02

No, I totally understand. But it's a great profession then, where you can travel the world.

Speaker 2 5:07

Yeah, um, I also work in the medical field, so that's kinda cool.

Speaker 1 5:12

Yeah, that is cool. And is it like what what is the best of the most fun country you've been to?

Speaker 2 5:20

Um, I actually haven't been out of the US before.

Speaker 1 5:23

Um yeah, yeah, yeah. What is the ninth best state in the US?

Speaker 2 5:29

So far I liked it in uh Texas, which is kind of odd because you know there's uh there's a lot of anti-gay set sediment in Texas. But um I was in like blue cities, if like you know what we call blue cities.

Speaker 1 5:45

No, no idea.

Speaker 2 5:46

More liberal s cities.

Speaker 1 5:49

Oh yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 5:51

So it was all good. Um I actually used to be an emo pop star.

Speaker 1 5:56

Love that. Love that.

Speaker 2 5:59

And unlike you, I'm not very talented at m music, so um what I'd do is to just get drunk and uh do karaoke.

Speaker 1 6:09

I love that. The rest it doesn't really matter.

Speaker 2 6:17

I try my best, you know.

Speaker 1 6:19

Yeah, karaoke's fun.

Speaker 2 6:21

Yeah, it's funny. I would like choose like all these like different songs, uh mostly emo songs. I did rock a few times, and then like in my makeup, I looked really cool.

Speaker 1 6:34

I love that.

Speaker 2 6:35

Yeah. It was fun though.

Speaker 1 6:40

Yeah, karaoke is fun. I'm especially when you're drunk.

Speaker 2 6:44

Right. It makes it like ten times funner.

Speaker 1 6:47

Yeah. True.

Speaker 2 6:50

I hope um one of your songs goes on the uh platform they use for karaoke. I'd totally try to sing it.

Speaker 1 6:58

Oh, I love that. Which song?

Speaker 2 7:01

Uh probably uh the one about your ex.

Speaker 1 7:05

Oh sure. They're all about my exes.

Speaker 2 7:08

Well.

Speaker 1 7:11

Oh, that's really fun. I love that.

Speaker 2 7:18

But no, I've I I've been listening to you uh for a good amount of time now, and then I'm like, oh shit, I should uh collaborate with this guy. So Amazing. Here I am.

Speaker 1 7:29

I love that. I really love that. Just keep doing that, keep reaching out to people.

Speaker 2 7:34

Yeah, I'm trying to uh build this uh platform, you know. Um, you know, not only make a, you know, strong base because, you know, mainly I focus on uh queer stuff. Um, like gay bars and all that um kind of stuff. Um you're actually the first person that I've reached out to, so you're my first guest.

Speaker 1 8:00

I'm happy to be your first guest. Yeah.

Speaker 2 8:09

Yeah. Um uh most maze major cities have gay bars. It's actually funny, I want to start a gay bar eventually.

Speaker 1 8:19

Wow. That's amazing.

Speaker 2 8:21

Yeah.

Speaker 1 8:22

If you need a performer there, hit me up.

Speaker 2 8:24

I will I will be there. Alright, I will definitely.

Speaker 1 8:28

Yeah.

Speaker 2 8:30

Do you know who um Edgar Allan Poe was?

Speaker 1 8:34

Uh yeah, his name sounds really familiar.

Speaker 2 8:39

Yeah, he was a uh famous writer.

Speaker 1 8:42

Mmm. Yeah.

Speaker 2 8:45

So you know that I'm, you know, Corvus the Crow.

Speaker 1 8:49

Yeah.

Speaker 2 8:50

Um, my goal is to because he wrote a story called The Raven. So my goal is to uh open up a gay bar called the uh Nevermore.

Speaker 1 9:02

Aw, I love that. That's amazing. And where would you open it? Where would you start it?

Speaker 2 9:09

Uh I don't know right now. Honestly, I don't even really think that I'm going to be in the US for that long. That much longer. Um this place is getting insane quickly.

Speaker 1 9:23

Let's go to Europe.

Speaker 2 9:25

Yeah. Less stress. Alright. What was your uh favorite uh place you performed at so far?

Speaker 1 9:37

Ooh. Well I think um I've uh week ago or two weeks ago, I performed in a in a basement K-bar in Amsterdam. And that was one of the most fun performances I did so far. Because it was really the people were so energetic, and it was as if I was performing my own show in a sold-out venue, you know, with like five hundred or six hundred people, and it was oh I really love that. That was really amazing. Yeah.

Speaker 2 10:15

That's awesome. Um, I know that a gay bar I visited in Austin, um, that place um had a basement. Granted, you didn't really want to end up in the basement. Um a lot of uh a lot of drunk people, a lot of shirtless men, um, a lot of men doing stuff in the dark, we'll just put it that way.

Speaker 1 10:37

Yeah. Usually those are the basements.

Speaker 2 10:41

Yeah, right.

Speaker 1 10:44

Okay, I am ready to start. If you are ready.

Speaker 2 10:48

Okay, yeah.

Speaker 1 10:49

Perfect.

Speaker 2 10:50

So if you don't mind, I decided to like sandwich some of the topics that we had. So perfect. Um basically I put your topics in between my own.

Speaker 1 11:03

Yeah, sure.

Speaker 2 11:04

Um, just so it's a little bit more of a balanced even discussion.

Speaker 1 11:09

Yeah, sounds great.

Speaker 2 11:10

So, first lead. Um, have you ever heard of Disneyland?

Speaker 1 11:15

Of course. I love Disneyland. I've been to Disneyland in Paris a few times. Oh.

Speaker 2 11:20

Awesome.

Speaker 1 11:21

I love it. Yeah.

Speaker 2 11:24

You're familiar with what the Mega movement is, right?

Speaker 1 11:28

A little bit.

Speaker 2 11:30

Like the Donald Trump movement.

Speaker 1 11:34

Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 11:35

So get this. That's crazy. Um, on February 28th, this year, uh-huh, the LGBTQ is hosting an event at the same time that the MAGA supporters are also ho hosting an event.

Speaker 1 11:52

Oh. Damn. That's crazy. Does it go like near each other or yeah, they're going to go near each other. Oh my god. That sound does not sound like a great idea.

Speaker 2 12:06

No.

Speaker 1 12:08

Oh damn. Was it planned to do it on the same was coincidence? It was coincidence.

Speaker 2 12:15

It was a coincidence and um they're not like officially sched scheduled from Disney.

Speaker 1 12:23

Oh yeah. Oh, that's not a really good idea. Yeah. Turns out.

Speaker 2 12:32

Put a bunch of uh white supremacist uh homophobes with a bunch of queens. Well, that didn't seem to go too well for them during the Stonewall riots.

Speaker 1 12:44

Yeah. Oh damn. Oh damn.

Speaker 2 12:47

That's gonna go really badly.

Speaker 1 12:50

Yeah. Indeed.

Speaker 2 12:53

They're just going to put up like finger crosses when they see gay people just like pray the gay away. Yeah, it's going to be a mess, I think. Yeah. It's like that doesn't work, sweetheart. I'm sorry to tell you that.

Speaker 1 13:12

No, it doesn't work.

Speaker 2 13:13

No, I've tried. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I left Christianity for that reason.

Speaker 1 13:24

Oh. Oh no.

Speaker 2 13:30

So what are some of your uh thoughts about that?

Speaker 1 13:36

Some some while sorry, what?

Speaker 2 13:38

About the thing that's gonna happen at Disney on February twenty eighth.

Speaker 1 13:43

Yeah, I have really no idea. I just hope uh it doesn't escalate.

Speaker 2 13:49

Yeah.

Speaker 1 13:49

You know, like when people get together um for a similar belief, I think that's really beautiful because then you have people who are like-minded, but I really hope they don't interfere with each other.

Speaker 2 14:06

Right. And you know, I've like taken part in uh like town councils when they were trying to like ban gay books.

Speaker 1 14:17

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2 14:18

And uh apparently that's a very prominent thing. Um in the US, uh Ron DeSantis, if you know who that is, the governor of Florida. No.

Speaker 1 14:29

Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 14:30

Um, he tried to do that, and then apparently a bunch of people were like, I'm gonna be cool like Ronald DeSantis. And then they, you know, tried to do that. But anyways, um I made a public speech um defending gay books, obviously. Um No, to ban them. No. Alright, but um I made a speech about how we should defend that. Yeah. Um, and it was so funny. Um I got along decently with like one person from the other side. And um I I was pretty scared of him because of how he was like talking. And after my speech, this guy gets up, comes to where I'm at, and I'm kinda like, oh fuck, he's gonna be angry about what I said because like half of like the conservatives just left when I said my speech. Um, but this guy gives me a frickin' hug and he says, keep being yourself.

Speaker 1 15:37

Wow. That's amazing.

Speaker 2 15:39

Yeah.

Speaker 1 15:40

Yeah. I love that.

Speaker 2 15:42

So I think that like we should always like like I I don't know, like, sometimes like with society you kind of feel victimized by certain people, um, potentially, and you're sometimes that makes you less likely to uh get along with like a person like people of like a certain group like that. But I think that we should always judge the individual and not necessarily true You know, because you know, everyone has their own opinion. Like if I just judged that guy, he wouldn't have given me a hug. Like that whole interaction wouldn't have happened.

Speaker 1 16:19

Yeah, indeed. And it's all also like maybe we have like totally different beliefs, but if you just respect each other, yeah. Right then why should you not talk to someone who has a different belief than you? I don't know.

Speaker 2 16:34

Right. So like I I do like support though, like being a little bit cautious, but if if you're not like in danger if you if you get to know the person a little bit more, um, I think that you can definitely have some good discussions with people.

Speaker 1 16:51

True. Yeah, that's true. As long as you stay calm.

Speaker 2 16:56

Right.

Speaker 1 16:57

Like both sides.

Speaker 2 16:58

But I also like um seeing why people believe the things they do, you know?

Speaker 1 17:04

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2 17:07

It's funny, I'm I'm trying to study psychology, so.

Speaker 1 17:10

Oh, I love that. That's amazing. Yeah. Yeah. Psychology.

Speaker 2 17:18

Yeah. Be a shrink.

Speaker 1 17:22

Yeah.

Speaker 2 17:23

Nah, but I would want to do uh social work. I'm not like a fan of how like psychologists um do things. Um they kind of to me they kinda seem like emotionally numb, and I don't think that they're like the best to uh support people, so I'm going to focus more on, you know, the people themselves. If that makes any sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Um one side note. Um so I did um record a introduction for you.

Speaker 1 18:02

Yeah.

Speaker 2 18:02

Um your last name's public, right?

Speaker 1 18:08

Uh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I don't usually I never use it because it's I only use my state tonight.

Speaker 2 18:14

Right.

Speaker 1 18:14

Uh but it is public, yeah.

Speaker 2 18:16

Okay. I I just wanted to make sure you were comfortable with it. If it not, I could record it again, but Sure, it's fine. Okay, awesome. I think you'll like it.

Speaker 1 18:27

Nice. I'm curious.

Speaker 2 18:30

Um, so um one of the topics you wanted to talk about um was pride. Um, and I thought that that was a good way to uh maybe compare pride in America versus pride in Europe. Um because I don't really know how they do it in Europe. Um to me it looks a little bit funner than how we do it in America.

Speaker 1 18:54

Yeah.

Speaker 2 18:55

But I wanted to hear a little bit about that.

Speaker 1 18:58

Of course. Sounds good. Yeah. And how long uh were you thinking about doing the interview? Uh like how long do you think um it will take?

Speaker 2 19:11

Oh, just um tell me if you want to wrap wrap it up. Um I'm not gonna force you, but we have uh nine topics to cover and we're on the second one, so yeah. Sure.

Speaker 1 19:22

Perfect. Sounds good.

Speaker 2 19:24

So yeah, that's the uh next topic about how Europe pride is, I guess.

Speaker 1 19:29

Yeah, Europe. Um we like normally the basis of a pride is really similar uh in different cities. Every city has its own version of pride, but usually they have like a pride walk uh through the city where it is. Um it's sort of like a parade and uh it's really fun actually. And we have uh usually like a stage with artists uh performing music or dance or something else. And there also is a lot there are a lot of queer markets on Pride, so there are a lot of stands with people from organizations um like uh varying from mental health to just being queer or it's a lot like a lot of organizations they get a stand and talk about what they do and how they help people, it's really nice. And uh do we have something else? No, usually that's like the basis uh of a pride. But yeah, like I said, every pride has its own version of it. Some have a uh a really big parade like in Utrecht or in Amsterdam, and some don't have a stage because it's a smaller pride. And then people just come there and they celebrate Pride and here it's we really look forward to Pride season. We really want to go to places where we can just be ourselves the whole day in a city, um and it's really nice. Yeah, I love it.

Speaker 2 21:11

I heard that um they're a little bit more progressive in Europe with um pride and whatnot. Is that true?

Speaker 1 21:20

Um I don't really see that. Um there are like a few bigger prides, there is always um always there's sometimes uh like people who disagree with it or don't want it to happen, or uh yeah. But I don't think that that's uh that you can prevent that from happening. There are always people who don't like what we do or don't like price, but mainly the people who come there they just they know the vibe and they know the people and uh they just really kind so I don't really see that uh so much though.

Speaker 2 22:07

Right. Um yeah sometimes it gets a little rough in America um if um I don't know how much you know about like Pride in America not a lot no um so unfortunately um sometimes there are like shootings oh damn um yeah actually uh a few of the uh like the area where like a lot of the gay bars were in San Antonio when I used to go there um they've dealt with shootings before um when I went to uh DC apparently there was a shooting um people are just crazy you know it's like yeah that is crazy terrible yeah yeah so that's why I was kinda curious you know um well we haven't had that but I'm going to not call wood but uh I hope it will stay like this right in Europe yeah that's good to hear though um definitely yeah yeah um so are you ready for uh next topic yeah sure okay so um back in October um our Supreme Court which is like our judicial branch um was hearing uh overturning a ban on conversion therapy which would make conversion therapy legal oh damn yeah that's crazy um I have no idea what to say to that yeah I would never think about like doing something like that but also I don't really know why other people would go to something like that I just really I do not understand right it I don't no and like back to like the board meetings I went to um people would always say oh I'm ex-gay tell me how I could not be gay anymore like come on like you've changed but just magically Yeah but it's just like who you are like I don't know you can't really change that no also you shouldn't have to and you don't you shouldn't have to want to change that people want to change it but yeah I don't know and like I feel like changes it's more so like trauma related yeah um but I don't think that necessarily means that like you're just automatically straight you know after that. Um no not at all like uh for me personally um experienced some things in the gay community and um I don't really go out anymore um but like functionally I'm like functionally I'm ace I'm ho I'm homosexual but functionally I'm ace because of what happened to me if that makes any sense um so it's like it's not like I you know want to swing for the other team now you know and become no that's crazy that would be crazy yeah but also you can't like you can't keep something like that up how I don't know yeah right no yeah I'm sorry for uh trauma dumping on you there no no no that's fine it's fine it always helps to trauma dump right but you know I'm I'm I get to do good you know even though I don't go out in the gay community anymore I get to do this which I think that I could potentially make more of a difference doing this so yeah totally I you stay like in contact of of like minded people and that's I think always always nice right and um I do actually like kind of relating to that um I do have a surprise for you at the end of the recording um well actually two um surprises um I'll show you one after the recording like after I end it and then the other one I'm going to uh tell you um during the recording right because I haven't told you okay okay it's fine I really um excited um I think you'll I I'll I think you'll like one um and uh the other one uh maybe we'll see we'll see yeah um alright no spoilers though I'm I'm I'm not going to tell you though no no no we'll we'll wait it's fine it's fine alright awesome um just wanted to make sure we agreed on that you know yeah yeah now I'm really curious I'm really curious so um is there anything else you would have liked to add on um the uh American Pride versus Europe or do you want to move on?

Speaker 1 27:52

I really hope like the best thing about for me about Pride is having a place where you can be yourself and where you are surrounded with like minded people. So I really hope that people in the US still feel that there are places where they can go even despite things that have happened in the past or are happening now because I think having a place like that is so important when you feel like you're different or you don't belong. So I really hope that the things that have happened um don't take that away from people.

Speaker 2 28:36

Right. I really hope that and it's scarier when you don't feel like you have a community you know it's really scary. Especially like from personal experience and not going out in town anymore, you know sometimes that's a little bit hard um but yeah that's why I'm here that's why I do this um and hopefully I could build up a uh community um to where um people could be themselves um and get some kind of comfort listening to um my uh show you know and that's so important and I really hope that a few crazy people do not mess that up for the rest, you know? Right. And like growing up in a uh pretty red um community um which is just like conservative right blue is liberal red is conservative in the US and um the thing about that is that um a lot of people were afraid of coming out um yeah crazy yeah um and uh once they left um that area um they uh were actually able to come out so oh yeah and sometimes you need to do that so you need to go to a different location and environment and like unfortunately um because of my job um I'm not out of the closet right now um for the most part um I kinda just keep things on a need to know basis um so I guess that's a little different than being in the closet because like fundamentally I'll tell people if I trust them enough. Um but if I don't trust them I don't tell them yeah oh that's crazy that you like we shouldn't have to you know right and then like with people saying oh you know it's unprofessional to tell people that you're gay well I have to listen to you people talk about your wives and shit. Like what how's that end about asking yeah yeah so I'm like wait a minute pause you know it's just crazy it is it really is so um are you ready for the uh next topic or yeah on October 18th um last October um there's a large um what we call a no kings protest um which is against the tr um against the president and against his administration um did you hear anything about it?

Speaker 1 31:40

Vaguely like we've seen it on the news but it's really fake.

Speaker 2 31:44

Right. Um it's basically saying that he's um um governing us more like a king than a president and that's caused a lot of anxiety um especially um with the transgender community um probably more so than the uh gay community but yeah like we're all one organization we're all one community you know so yeah and it's sad um you know um before um before all of this uh last June um I don't know if you heard about this but um Trump kicked out um transgender service members yeah um members of our uh military um that's wild to me you know that is wild it's so absurd that that's happening now because I really truly feel like in the Netherlands in comparison to the US like it's um I I think we uh feel like we can have more freedom to be ourselves right and that's so crazy that that's not something uh people in the US also feel that they have to they have to hide and like be afraid who they are and that's so I don't know I can't wrap my head around because for me now it's it's really uh I don't know the English word but it's really normal to be myself and just to tell everyone I mean like oh yeah if they want to know but like oh I'm gay and I can't imagine not being able to say that and not being able to do that. Right. Um so yeah that's that's crazy to me yeah and like sometimes it does you know definitely if you ask me um there's kind of correlation there um with um you know um people feeling like that they can't express that they're gay and um kind of the uh mental health of some of the uh people who are gay and um live in the US um but that's actually one of our topics so I'm not going to get into that right now. Yeah um oh shit I actually saw that I went out of order. Sorry about that.

Speaker 1 34:38

Uh no no no it's fine.

Speaker 2 34:40

It's fine so um yeah I I definitely feel like it leads to a culture of uh worse mental health and I think that's definitely um one of the reasons why I would want to uh leave the country and live in another one yeah I understand because that's like uh like such a basic thing that we as humans need to like just be happy we have to be ourselves and feel like we're accepted for who we are and that we can be who we are.

Speaker 1 35:26

Right. And if it's not possible where you live then please move somewhere else because it's so important. But it's something that we shouldn't even have to think about and that's really bad.

Speaker 2 35:43

Yeah. You know it's definitely horrible like you know you fearing that like you're gonna say it to the wrong person or anything of that nature really you know?

Speaker 1 35:57

Yeah. True. So Yeah we shouldn't have to think about that.

Speaker 2 36:05

I think that um it's going to take a while before our culture um in America becomes more healthy. Um I think that um because we're so late um with uh social progress regarding uh homosexuality that uh that definitely plays a factor in it. True um I don't know if you know this but um it was only like a decade or so ago, like ten years um to where gay members were act gay serv um service members were actually allowed in the military after the don't ask don't tell um rule. Mm-hmm Yeah it's so not long ago right and I know some people who have uh fell victim to that policy you know and you wanna hear like the most messed up thing about that? Mm-hmm is that you can uh get a few ways out of the military um in the US the worst one is a dishonorable discharge right um you could even struggle to find a job after that um I I know people who have still a dishonorable discharge from the don't ask, don't tell era Wow this really fucked up yeah also photos of your life yeah yeah um it's like a black stain on your record um yeah indeed un Yeah unfortunately the government seems to um say that they made a mistake try to adjust it but they won't do anything to correct the mistake that they made in the pat the past it's like really then why should you uh apologize if you're not going to change right it's like well great that helps people coming in but what about the people that you kicked out for that shit?

Speaker 1 38:27

Yeah indeed yeah and it's just the only thing that is different is that they like men. Like that's the literally only difference.

Speaker 2 38:40

Right apparently if you uh like men that means that you can't shoot a rifle as well or some shit Yeah that's crazy Yeah so that's you know kinda horrible that is horrible so um do you want to uh go on to our next um topic? Yeah sounds good um this is actually something that's actually very related to the topic we were just discussing um that's the uh gay mental health yeah I think uh I see a lot of like organizations nowadays that they talk about or they want to talk about the gay mental health and I think that's so so good that those organizations are there but it's really bad that they have to be there but it's when there's a lot of things going on also in your in the Netherlands but also in other countries that it's so necessary to talk about um your mental health analysis especially queer because some people get so much hatred and comments from people and even when you're really good at shutting that out and like not letting it affect you at some point it will you will question yourself or your your self-image or who you are and then it's so important that you have people to talk to and people you can go to to talk about this.

Speaker 1 40:30

And I really hope that everyone who like needs it has a way or has access to these organizations and these people where they can talk about things they've uh like the problems or situations in their past. Because I don't know that's really important.

Speaker 2 40:52

Right.

Speaker 1 40:53

For me it's it's it's like my family and my friends I talk about things and that always really helps uh so yeah everyone should have access to those things.

Speaker 2 41:05

Right. Um so I'm not going to like force you to like share anything you wouldn't want to um but um if you want I could kind of like speak about like what I went through. Sure if you yeah so you're okay with it. Yeah no of course um because I feel like there's power to telling your story um definitely um so obviously you know I'm gay and statistically gay people struggle enough with stuff like anxiety depression um sometimes substance um use disorder um I also have um Asperger syndrome which what is that um high functioning autism oh yeah and um I also um have uh traumatic experiences so like factoring that all together I was at risk of um developing severe depression um and I'm just getting out of that um yeah I I'm going to stay in the line but uh I'm really going to check one thing.

Speaker 1 42:31

Please go on.

Speaker 2 42:32

Okay, I'll get yep. So that whole thing happened um and um I was struggling for a while, you know um because um it's kind of isolating to a certain extent um it makes you kind of um distrust people, you know? And uh Yeah for sure. The funny thing that like saved me, well I guess it's not funny but um one of my coworkers um came um to me um and like while I like was done cutting myself, right?

Speaker 1 43:20

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2 43:21

Yeah and um he uh really helped me out. I I never wanted my coworkers to see me like that.

Speaker 1 43:30

Yeah.

Speaker 2 43:31

Um so like him reacting the way he did um and him actually genuinely cared about like care care about me um made me never want to do it again and I'm in a better headspace because of it.

Speaker 1 43:48

Yeah. That is so incredible and we need more people like him or her.

Speaker 2 43:56

Right.

Speaker 1 43:57

Yeah but that's I'm really happy for you that it's going better now.

Speaker 2 44:03

Yeah. Um and you know what? I told uh a uh psychologist who uh saw me that day when I went to the uh ER.

Speaker 1 44:14

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2 44:15

Is that progress isn't going to be like you know, you're at twenty-five percent and you're gonna be a hundred percent the next day.

Speaker 1 44:27

No.

Speaker 2 44:29

Progress is more slow than that, you know. Even if I got a five percent improvement, that's still much better than you know, no percent or nothing else to look forward to.

Speaker 1 44:44

Really true. And it's also big things they don't happen like uh so quick, they happen uh in a period of a really long time. Right. And it's better if you can take small steps every day wanting to change one thing uh really big, so it's really good that you realize that. Yeah.

Speaker 2 45:10

And you know, it's like people have hurt me over my life, and what I've realized is that like, why am I hurting myself because other people hurt me? You know?

Speaker 1 45:20

Yeah. True. No, that's true. And for me, it was like uh like a little bit in that context. Um it was uh I think when I was 18, I like wanted to come out uh to my friends and family and actually to the whole world and just say okay. And that was really because I was thinking, um, why should I not be my true self and live my life being my true self because I'm afraid of what other people think of me. And I was like, why should I hold back on who I am? Um because of the opinion of other people. That's like really crazy to me. And then I was like, okay, I I want to tell people, and that's when I when I told everyone, and I'm really happy that I did.

Speaker 2 46:22

Right.

Speaker 1 46:24

Yeah.

Speaker 2 46:25

You know, it's freeing to a certain extent, you know? Um not having to hide who you are anymore. Yeah. Um, in the cases of like why my direct co-workers know that I'm gay, is um because I kind of slipped up. Um, you know, the he, him pronouns of who I was talking to uh kind of slipped up, so I was like, Yeah, you know, I know a pretty cool uh woman. Um he's pretty cool. Oh fuck. So yeah, I slipped on pronouns. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 47:04

I love that.

Speaker 2 47:06

Yeah.

Speaker 1 47:07

And if that's the way, yeah, perfect. Why not?

Speaker 2 47:11

Right?

Speaker 1 47:12

Yeah.

Speaker 2 47:13

So yeah, I'm sorry if I like brought the moon down discussing what I think. Um I just hope that someone listening to this um can, you know, receive some kind of help knowing that they're not alone.

Speaker 1 47:28

Yeah, true. And uh yeah, and sharing it, sharing your story is is uh so important.

Speaker 2 47:37

I think so. Um I think that's how um you can let people not necessarily repeat the same mistakes you made.

Speaker 1 47:50

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2 47:50

Um I want to get involved in a program that helps people um of um who have experienced um sexual violence.

Speaker 1 48:03

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2 48:03

Yeah. And I feel like I'm going to do good with that because it'll keep people from having to go through that dark road that I went on.

Speaker 1 48:14

Yeah. True.

Speaker 2 48:20

So, um, you know, um, this is gonna be a little different because I've been speaking to you during the whole um episode so far. Um but um this goes out to um whoever's listening to this, right? Yeah. If you are experiencing any thoughts of harming yourself, any thoughts of killing yourself, please get help. There's people who care. There's people who will literally get out of bed to help you in the middle of the night. Please don't suffer through it alone.

Speaker 1 49:01

True. That is so important. There's always people indeed who care uh about you.

Speaker 2 49:09

Right. So I just wanted to end that topic with saying that.

Speaker 1 49:15

Yeah, it is perfect.

Speaker 2 49:18

Alright, so have you uh heard of uh sorry, I wanted change the topic. Are you okay with ending it there?

Speaker 1 49:30

Yeah, sure. I have now like time for like one topic. Uh if that's okay.

Speaker 2 49:37

Oh, okay. Um so I'll tell you what, um I'm going to go over uh gay art really quick. Um that was one of your topics. Um I'm going to kind of uh try to conclude it a little bit quicker because I do want to get to uh the second surprise that I have for you.

Speaker 1 49:59

Yeah.

Speaker 2 50:00

Um so gay art, right? Um there's a musician that I vo follow who's uh transgender. Um her name's Lauren Blausfeld. Blausefeld. Um she's really cool. Um her one song, um Action Went um Action Winter Journey is um really uh one of my favorite, um, not only for like um, you know, its uh use in like analog horror videos, but also um it's um it's like subtle connotation um towards like dark feelings, um, and it kind of gets a lot of that out from me.

Speaker 1 50:47

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Speaker 2 50:49

Um so um yeah, Lauren Bousfeld. Um, I really like listening to her. Yeah. Um I love this. Who's your uh favorite uh gay artist or LGBTQ?

Speaker 1 51:09

I would say at the moment like for sure, on top of it is uh for me like an idol is much fun. Um but I also really love uh like I really listen to a lot of mainstream people, but there are also like those smaller artists. Uh I don't know if you know uh Fred Roberts, he's from the UK, I think. And I really love his music and his his style at the moment. He's also like a small artist. Um yeah, I think I would say his music, I love it.

Speaker 2 51:54

Oh, cool.

Speaker 1 51:56

Yeah.

Speaker 2 51:57

That's really good to hear.

Speaker 1 52:00

Yeah. Hopefully one day I can collaborate with him.

Speaker 2 52:08

That's always the goal, right? Um, finding people to uh collaborate with. Um true. That's why we're here, right? Um Yeah. So um I want to uh kind of segue into the uh first surprise I have for you. Nice, yeah. Um so I'm going to donate a hundred euros, which will be I think 116 dollars um US um to a um gay charity of your choosing.

Speaker 1 52:46

Oh wow, that's amazing.

Speaker 2 52:48

Um That's crazy. So that's going to be um a little bit of a thank you um for appearing on my show.

Speaker 1 52:58

Um That's so crazy.

Speaker 2 53:02

Thank you, yeah. Of course. Um after the podcast, just um tell me which one you decide on, and we'll go from there.

Speaker 1 53:15

Yeah, of course. I will send it to you.

Speaker 2 53:18

Alright, um I'm going to uh wrap up with them. Um I'm going to put myself on mute really quick.

Speaker 1 53:25

Um Yeah, sure. I love it. That's crazy.

Speaker 2 53:30

Thank you so much, Ryan, for appearing on my show. Thank you for everything that you do for our community. Now it is time to go off the air and land. This has been Corvus Uncaged, the first debut episode. So tune in for our next episode. Corvus out. Now it's time to get off the air and land. On a branch, preferably, and a soft landing at that. So tune in in our next episode. I will see you all there. Corvus out.